Today I really would have preferred to not talk on the phone because I had a headache. So when the phone rang I was not thrilled, but I answered it (because I had no choice-lol). The conversation didn't start well, progressed downhill quickly and the guy hung up on me after raking me over the coals for twenty minutes. If this had been a personal call I would have hung up on him first. To say I was annoyed when I got off the phone is an understatement. When I opened the note section I read where he had the same conversation with another coworker a year before. It was obvious that the guy had issues. The situation didn't warrant his attitude, his attitude didn't help and I did not do anything to him to justify his words or him hanging up.
Yet I couldn't help but take it personally and even doubt myself. I finally reached the conclusion that it wasn't that big of deal - didn't make for a great morning, but it wasn't something to let my day get ruined over. And I can always hope the guy waits another year before calling - lol.
Later in the day another soldier called me. He was pleasant and appreciative of what we did for him. I spent as much time on the phone with him as I did the first guy and I enjoyed every moment. We figured out a plan for him, and he was excited about doing it. He wanted me to remember him when his information came in so he pointed out that his last name was the same as an actor. Since he brought it up I shared that I had a crush on and wrote that very actor when I was 8 years old. Then I realized we had both been served in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. We had a conversation that only two people who have served there can have. We ended the conversation on a positive note; in fact I finally had to tell him that I had better get back to work before I got in trouble.
When I got off the phone the guys teased me about a potential date. To be honest I took this phone conversation personally also but in a good way. I felt like I had really done something great, but the reality was the guy was just really neat with a great attitude. Regardless of who he talked to in our office the conversation would have been pleasant. But I am looking forward to his follow-up call. I hope he doesn't wait a year - lol.
It is true that there are times that my attitude and my counseling affect the way phone calls go, but in both of these cases the failure of the first call and the success of the second call were not about me. It was about them and the state of their heart and mind when they called.
How someone treats you often has more to do with them that it does you. I shared this with my friend over lunch several months ago when she was upset about how her sister treated her. She had her chance to remind me of it later when one of my friends hurt me.
There is a saying that hurt people hurt people. When abuse is found in a home it is often found that the abuser was once the abused. This reminds me of being in FFA (Future Farmers of America) when I was in school. The older members got to haze the younger members coming in. Thankfully since I was a girl my hazing wasn't a big deal, but the boys had it rough. Shortly after having been paddled by one of the bigger boys a guy said he couldn't wait until the next year so he could treat the new people that way. I was amazed because I had no interest in participating in hurting other people. I didn't like what was being done to us why would I want to turn around and do it to someone else. Yet many people follow that path.
When someone hurts us or does something thoughtless it is hard not to take it personally (in fact I don't know if I will ever learn how to do that), but we can't let how others treat us affect how we view ourselves. If they don't value us, it doesn't mean we aren't valuable. It means that they don't have the skills or character to treat us correctly. Don't let others determine how you view yourself nor how you take care of yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment